Rich

Last week my good friend Rich passed away due to complications with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. We were lucky enough to be able to visit him in the hospital just before he was headed home to be on hospice. Even though it was difficult for him to speak and difficult for us to hear him with his oxygen mask on, he talked to us for 45 minutes. He still had his sharp sense of humor and knew what was going on. I've never lost anyone that I was close to. Saying good bye to him in the hospital, knowing that I would never see him again was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Rich passed away peacefully in his sleep two days later at home, surrounded by his loving family. The service was yesterday, and was very nice. His family (mother, step father, father, step mother and step sister) went to the front of the church and shared stories of his life and from his final days. It was reassuring to hear that he had been taken care of so well, not that I had doubted that he would be, but I couldn't get the image of him laying in the hospital bed all alone as we left out of my head.
Once at home, he had Alia (his step sister) make a sign that said "You're Fired", and anyone that became excessively weepy or depressed at his side got the sign. At one point during the service one of the speakers began to break down crying and someone from the audience yelled "You're fired!", lightening the mood and getting everyone laughing.
The day before he passed away, one of the hospice nurses was getting him ready to shower, an exhausting process for him. His mother was in the other room doing laundry when the nurse came to her and said, "Rich needs you". She rushed to the other end of the house, thinking something was wrong and when she got there he sang to her, "I just called...to say I love you..." He stayed true to himself until the very end.
The church was packed with 4-500 people. He touched so many people with his upbeat attitude, his sense of humor and his loyalty.

Some things I want to remember about Rich:

• He almost always wore a suit
• He loved NYC and spent 3 summers there on his own
• He always remembered birthdays and he would call and sing to you on your special day
• He loved to play the piano
• He had traditions with so many people, I didn't really realize this until the service. I knew that we had things we always did together, but he had a lot of friends he kept up with regularly and they all had a special restaurant, an event they attended together, or a certain food they ate on certain days.
  
• He generally either loved you or didn't care for you much at all. Either way you knew it.
• He adored his mother
• He had expensive tastes and was a classy guy
• He loved Hugh Grant
• He loved his hair

Of course there are so many things that I wish I could ask him now. Even little things that don't really matter, but only he knows the answer to. And there are things I wish I remembered better, or had listened to more carefully. I wish I had taken more time for him in my rush to get through school. I think all of these things are normal, but all in all I'm thankful that I got to see him one last time. That I got to tell him how much I loved him. That he didn't suffer long. That he lived a relatively independent life until the end. My heart hurts and I miss him terribly, but I do know that he is in a better place now. Love you Richie.



Here is an old post with Rich in it.